From: pisgitt@me.com
Sent: 6/15/12 8:24 AM
Subject: Last Night 2
Lisa,
Sorry, pulled the trigger too fast on that last message. Not sleeping will do that to a person.
So, as I said, it is with great sadness and regret that I write these words. Last night after our discussion about the death of Junius and your thoughts on the nesting project and after you had gone to sleep, I got up and did some all night thinking and wondering about what happens next. In the course of my insomniac madness, I began to realize that I had been swimming in a river of denial. While I have tried very hard to follow your wise counsel and seek out our mutual zone of comfort, I began to feel that there was something which would be important to me in the mutual zone of comfort but that it could not be in the absence of mutuality. Specifically, I have the strong sense that the need for physical intimacy is not shared. Keep in mind that these are feelings and that they are not right or wrong. They are simply my feelings. I understand and fully realize many reasons why it might not be possible to have that part of a zone of comfort in the context of what we have both expressed as our mutual needs.
That being said, I have decided that if the mutual physical intimacy is not to be, then I shall content myself with a relationship which can be defined as strong friendship and a bond of mutual goals. I shall not abandon the de-crim project and fully intent to throw the last drop of my energy into achieving that which I promised you I would to.
Further, I shall not abandon my stated intention to help you find and obtain the nest of your dreams. My feelings of wanting to make you happy are not dampened nor shall they ever fade. It will be my finest hour to see you smile on the times which you wish me to see you.
You must know that nothing has changed as to how I feel and will always feel about you. I hope you feel the same way and that the process of moving forward with you with whatever life offers can continue on its present path. I need you in my life and have promised to accept whatever terms are needed for you to be happy and content.
Please take this in the positive spirit in which it is written.
I would love the opportunity to continue on the journey of magic filled days with the golden one.
Shall we dance?
Percy